community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
