Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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