I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize