Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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