Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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