piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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