During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
