Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
