So drunk its hurt
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
