guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
