Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I didn't notice because vodka
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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