he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
