i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
