When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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