i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
