I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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