the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
