im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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