Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
