You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
