Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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