marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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