YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
