god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Are we still banned from the library?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
