Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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