i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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