Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
