He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
