his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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