Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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