chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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