well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Do vagina's smell?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
