I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
