margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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