You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
