I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
