is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
