so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
