okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
