I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You are the jesus of drinking
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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