Are we in a gay sports bar?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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