I wanna bring you to show and tell
Come see our sink grown plant.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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