dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
