you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
