I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
