okay pat passed out under dana's car
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
