No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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