Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
bring money and cleavage
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
