Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i out mim tonsoeep
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