This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So vagazzling was a success
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
