just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
