i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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