He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
