as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
