I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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