dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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