im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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