hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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