is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
