okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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