the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
