i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize