I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize