yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
