I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
