He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
